The Neurosis of Running

Running using the podrunner program of 150 bpm made me realize I preferred to switch back to the interval training once again. Somehow, the variety adds more spice to my running. Though I am somewhat of the obsessive-compulsive type, wanting predictability in my run therefore preferring to run in the same route over and over again, another part of me also gets easily bored with routine. That is the kind of neurosis that running has unearthed from me. A lot more is emerging.

Halfway through my one-hour slow run this morning, I began to feel the pain behind my ankles again. My new shoes still needs a lot of breaking in. I got blisters on the same spot just two days before. The other time, I failed to lace one hole at the topmost part and this caused the rubbing of the shoe on my skin. Now, I think I really need to buy the ankle protector until this part of the shoe gets softer.

I struggled with the stinging sensation on my feet and the desire to run. I endured it to the end. I recalled how author-runners relate their own experience of masochistic tendencies which they claim is common to all runners. I guess that's the kind of neurosis that a lot could identify with. Though I sighed a lot of times and missed my old Nike free shoes, I vowed I will not stop running with these new shoes until these bend and mold to the condition that I desire. This tug of war of some sort has become fairly common to me. I had this tug-of-war before with myself, pushing my body to do what it does not want to do. I just do not know if my shoe is as obedient as my body. One hour and 8 km after, I limped my way back to my car. My double band-aid, already half-stripped as well as the skin it used to protect, exposing the nasty fresh wound. No skirts and exposure of ankles for now, I suppose. Even my vanity is suppressed with this exercise. Tomorrow I will try running with a much adherent band-aid. My husband warned me that the skin may darken and thicken from the constant trauma. Should that deter me from running tomorrow? Let's see which part of me will win the battle.

Building Up for Endurance

For me, the holiday is over. I need to get back in shape, not that I have totally lost it. Just a 3-pound gain which I can easily lose. The holidays gave me a lot of excuses to miss running three times a week. But today, I have decided to break in my new shoes... a Christmas gift from my husband. Yeey!

I looked at the sky and smiled. It was casted with thick clouds. Getting back to the stadium gave me a sense of coming home. There were the usual morning runners occupying the tracks. The air was cool and the occasional blowing of the wind brought a refreshing touch to my face. Wearing my new Nike plus zoom with the nike i-pod+ sensor neatly tucked in my left shoe, I began to run and pray.

I have just finished Haruku Murakami's book and a new resolution has evolved. Running has brought me a clearer perspective of my life and where God is leading me and my family. When you run in circles in a track filled with strangers with only your i-pod as your companion and you do that for an hour, you are left with nothing but your thoughts. Most of the time, these thoughts would also desert you, bored with what you are doing and you are left with nothing in your mind. The blankness and the silence is just the perfect environment that awakens the spirit within. Then you hear the Voice that whispers so softly. Then you realize why there are some runners who prefer to do long-distance running.

After an hour of running slowly on the track, I pushed 'work out completed' in my i-pod and shifted to walking. Covering a distance of 7.96km, I have awakened my slackened body to embrace the 2009 training I have set out for it to do. For week 1 of January, I need to cover 26-km broken down as follows, at least 6-km done 3x a week for Build Up and one LSD of 9k for endurance. My ultimate weekly distance target for base training is 33-km per week which I hope to achieve sometime in April.

The basis is the recommended training program for a beginner who wish to run a half-marathon and this is to run a total distance of 20-30 miles per week (32.2 - 48.3 km/ week), with a frequency of 3-4x a week for base training. From my previous weekly distance of 15-20km/week, I am building up my mileage to that of the target. This build up should be done gradually, following the rule of not greater than 2 miles/ week (3.2 km per week) or 10% of current distance whichever is greater. Every forth week, I also incorporated an Easy Week which is equivalent to 75% of the current distance being ran.

This slow build up is done in order to teach my bones, muscles, ligaments and tendons to strengthen and adapt to the distance. This build up is a sense of programming so that normal adaptation occurs and the body does not succumb to injury. Training requires a lot of patience, consistency and discipline. There is no shortcut to my half-marathon. Cramming will not work.

I ended my morning work-out with a prayer: Lord, help me to carry my crosses daily but let it be the cross that you give me and not crosses I make for myself, for Your yoke is easy and Your burden light. May I go about my business doing things Your way because Your ways are not my ways. Your ways are better than mine.

Then I hear His voice ever so faint:

"I have plans for you... plans to prosper and bless you and not harm you. Because I have come so that you may have life and have it abundantly."

My spirit expanded. A new year is ahead of me, filled with hope and so much promise. I went home to a new book waiting for its pages to be devoured... Running and Philosophy - a marathon for the mind, edited by Michael W. Austin. This is a promising companion for my build up to base training. As I discipline my body, so will I discipline my mind and soul and feed it with healthy stuff as well.

Read, Run and Write

Twenty days have gone by and this is the only time that I once more got to sit and write. The holiday rush has taken its toll. My running activity has diminished to once or twice weekly but I have increased my distance to at least 10k per run. This is not to compensate for the decrease in frequency. I just realized I liked running long slow distances more than short and fast ones.

Yesterday, I once more stepped inside Fully Booked in Serendra and inhaled that delightful scent of fresh, new books that I just love as soon as my 8-year old daughter and I entered the glass door. I was holding her small hand and instructed her to take deep breaths with me. We shared a love for books and the smell was just pure bliss. I left her at the kids' section on the second floor with my 3-year-old kid and their nannies and I went to the third floor, scanning the book shelves along the way.

Just as I turned the corner, I caught sight of this hard-bound book titled "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running" by Haruki Murakami. I took it out of the bookshelf and sat on the nearby single-seater black leather sofa. As I read the first few pages, I started to get excited. I suddenly felt the urge to write. Suddenly the vision of the Moleskine flashed in my mind. I hurried to the ground floor, took one Moleskine out of the rack, looked at the price, gave out a big sigh and went straight to the cashier before I get cold feet. I have tried to write in various cheap, small notebooks before but somehow never found inspiration in them. Whether it's pure marketing or some sort of spell casted by Hemingway and other great artists to this so-called legendary notebook, the moment I sat down on the sofa again, I began to write instantaneously. Before long, I have completed what looked to be a query letter for the book that I have completed the past 3 months that I have been running.

The reason why I am so hooked into running is because of my Eureka... the discovery that all these years I've always wanted to write a book. And ever since I have done that, I felt a sense of peace and contentment like no other. It's as though I have found my place in this world. I can read, run and write the whole day, the whole week or the whole year for all I care. Everything else that truly mattered in my life became more meaningful and more significant and the things that were superfluous and superficial just lost their colors because I have found what I truly love to do. Such is the sweet discovery that I made because I took the time to run.... not to lose weight, not to stay fit., nor to compete but simply to spend more time with myself and in the process discovered more of me and my Maker.